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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449149">hiraeth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirocchikun/pseuds/hirocchikun'>hirocchikun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:34:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirocchikun/pseuds/hirocchikun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>" It's nothing to think about. Osamu is just another customer but he hasn't left Suna's mind since last night. Yes,  he thinks Osamu's cute, he admits that. But that's all that there is. They exchanged 3 sentences for god's sake. So why does he find himself sitting in front of the rink, waiting for him? "</p><p>Suna loves the cold, ice skating, and Osamu.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hiraeth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello ! not my first fic but its the first fic i ever posted here so : ) this was really hard to write emotional-wise. listen to twenty one pilots' "oh miss believer" for more feels hehe. hope you enjoy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the 13th of December.</p><p>It should be closing time by now, given that it was two hours before midnight. Suna didn’t bother to check if anyone was out there, or maybe he just didn’t care. He cooped himself up inside the backrooms of the ice-skating rink. As much as he despised managing it, he just couldn’t bring himself to abandon it. Maybe because somehow, the cold, empty space reminded him of himself, or maybe because this is the only thing his parents left him before they passed away. </p><p>Right, closing time. Suna reminded himself. He sighs, stretching before he takes his bag and keys from the lone table in the room. Locking the backrooms, he hears the skidding of skates against ice. He sighs, not wanting to talk to anyone after a long day. </p><p>He opens the door and is greeted by a male trying to balance himself on ice. The stranger fails though, almost tripping and landing on his face. Suna can't help but snort, making the man snap his head towards him. "Oh, yeah- Ah sorry." He tries to stand but ends up stumbling again.</p><p>There's a small smile on Suna's face as he puts his hands in his pockets. "We're closing now. Uh- do you need help?" He asks and the other nods, and Suna guesses he's given up trying to stand. Through the years the brunette became a natural at it, so he steps onto the rink in his sneakers. He extends a hand to the man on the ground, and the other takes it with ease. "Thanks." </p><p>Suna hums before leading him out of the rink, letting him fix his things while he stares outside the complex's windows. It snows harder today, but somehow Suna feels warm inside. </p><p>"You can come by tomorrow again when we're open." The taller mumbles and the male beside him nods. "I'll take note of that." </p><p>Suna watches as the mop of grey hair gets smaller and smaller, but it stops, and the man turns back around.</p><p>"By the way, the name's Miya Osamu!" He yells and proceeds to exit.</p><p>-</p><p>It's nothing to think about. Osamu is just another customer but he hasn't left Suna's mind since last night. Yes,  he thinks Osamu's cute, he admits that. But that's all that there is. They exchanged 3 sentences for god's sake. So why does he find himself sitting in front of the rink, waiting for him? </p><p>He expects him to arrive earlier and almost loses hope in seeing the male when the doors click open at 9 in the evening. "Ah- are you still open?" Osamu huffs, sitting down on a bench and removing his shoes. Suna unknowingly smiles. He nods his head and gestures to the paper in front of him, a form Osamu should fill out. </p><p>"Thank ya....Suna." He says after he does, squinting at the letters on the brunette's nametag. Suna hums again, raising an eyebrow at how Osamu stays in front of him. </p><p>"Um. Do ya know how to skate?" </p><p>"Mhm. My parents owned this and would always take me here to learn." He answers boredly but sees a glint of excitement in the other's eyes. "Can ya teach me then?" </p><p>"Let me think about it." He teases, slowly shaking his head and smiling at how Osamu pouts. "C'mon. 'S not fun just fallin' to the ground." </p><p>"It's fun for me." Suna laughs when Osamu hits him playfully, but he stands and puts his hand up in surrender. "Fine, fine." He says going to the shelf of ice skates. </p><p> </p><p>"Okay so just- calm down. Yeah like that." Suna guides the other, who's grabbing onto the taller's hands. His legs are wobbling, and he keeps glancing at the brunette for help, but all Suna can do is laugh. </p><p>When Osamu gets his balance, he inwardly cheers. Suna stares at the proud look on his face and decides to strike up a conversation. "What made you want to ice skate?" </p><p>The other looks up at him before answering, "Well, I jus' wanted a new hobby. I didn't even know there was an ice skating rink here, so I decided to go check it out." </p><p>Suna chuckles, heartbeat pounding when Osamu grabs onto him tighter. "I'm glad you chose to go here." </p><p>The smaller smiles as well, "Me too! It's really fun and I think I'm getting the hang of- SHIT." And at that exact moment, he loses balance, landing on his side and cursing himself. </p><p>Suna bites his lip, with his face almost going red from trying not to laugh. Osamu looks at him with an annoyed expression, and he fails as his laugh echoes throughout the rink. </p><p>"Shut up." The male on the ground grumbles with a slight smile.</p><p>Suna keeps laughing, and there's only one thought on his mind.</p><p>Man, Osamu is a really interesting person.</p><p>-</p><p>Everyday Suna always has a smile on his face at the end of it. He can't help it when every night he spends his hours with Osamu. It's a peculiar feeling that makes him want to jump in joy and vomit at the same time. He decides to push it away though, knowing Osamu is nothing but a customer he serves. </p><p>Today, the said male walks through the entrance late in the morning, which surprises the brunette. They've never skated with other people there before, and Osamu only scratches his head. "Was thinkin' of buying you lunch after." </p><p>Suna's heart skips a beat, and he hides the smile on his face. He agrees, trying to calm himself down while putting on his skates. "You ready to fail miserably in front of other people?" He teases.</p><p>Osamu rolls his eyes and hits Suna. </p><p>"We'll see."</p><p> </p><p>After Suna proves himself right, he gets led to a restaurant by a sulking Osamu. They sit by the window and order food. A comfortable silence hangs over them. They make small conversation and the taller stares at how the other's cheeks puff up as he takes a bite of his meal. </p><p>"What do you do for a living?" He asks. "I'm a chef at a restaurant actually, been one for 2 years," Osamu says with a smile.</p><p>"Oh? Then why didn't you bring us to the restaurant you work in?" </p><p>"Ah- I kinda skipped work today for lunch with you." Osamu chuckles, cheeks tinting red as his eyes go crescent with his wide smile. </p><p>Suna's breath hitches. </p><p>It's not like in the movies where everything turns slow-motion, but it's a slow thinking process where he realizes. His heart thumps loudly inside his chest, and his stomach churns in anxiety. In the amount of time, they've spent together, </p><p>he's in love with Osamu. </p><p>-</p><p>It's not hard for him. </p><p>It's not as hard as people think it is, at least for Suna. Somehow he's content in seeing Osamu smile, getting to spend time with him, making him laugh, and loving him from afar. He's okay with that. It may sound cheesy but he doesn't want to ruin what they have now. So he decides to hide it. Even as more weeks and even months pass, it's still tucked away inside of him.  </p><p>Tonight they're doing the usual, but still, Suna's heart races when Osamu clings to him. "Rintarou! Whad'ya think? 'M getting better than you, aren't I?" </p><p>"Mmmm, say that when you don't need to hold me anymore," Suna says teasingly, making Osamu sneer and stick his tongue out. "Don't jinx it, you might fall again." The brunette adds, pulling away from the smaller one who stumbles. "Asshole, don't do that." He manages to hang onto Suna's forearm, which sends tingles underneath his sleeves. </p><p>After they end their session, Suna waves Osamu goodbye, smiling happily when he hears the door shut. He sighs, sitting on a bench and suddenly freezing. He looks at his forearm and sees his sleeves are wet. </p><p>Blinking, he rolls up his sleeve and his eyes widen. </p><p>His skin is cracked, but instead of blood and veins showing, it leaks out a bluish-purple gas-like substance, that's littered with white sparkling dots that look like stars. It reminds him of space. He tries touching it, it doesn't hurt but more of the substance pours out of the cracks. </p><p>What the fuck is happening to him? </p><p> </p><p>Suna runs home as fast as possible, crashing down onto his bed and searching the internet. He finds nothing like what's happening to him. He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, with fear and panic bubbling inside him. </p><p>He grabs gauze from his first aid kit, covering the unexplainable phenomenon. He clears his schedule for the next day and sets his alarm as he lays down on his bed.</p><p>No- he shouldn't be worried, surely there's a logical explanation for this, right? </p><p>He just hopes it doesn't cost him anything. </p><p>-</p><p>In the waiting room, a male nervously bites on his nails. Suna looks around the room and notices the person from before exiting a door. "Your turn, sir." The nurse from the counter calls and he inhales before standing up and going to the inside of the appointment room. </p><p>The doctor greets him and lets him sit down. The brunette gets asked what's wrong, and he slowly unwraps the bandages on his arm. The doctor looks shocked, taking Suna's arm and examining it. "Just what I thought." The professional mutters. </p><p>"What is it, doc?" Suna worries, even more, when the doctor pitifully looks at him and sighs. "You might not like what you're going to hear." </p><p>He shakes his head, and replies, "I just want to know what's happening, whatever the cause or effect." </p><p>The doctor looks at him and his papers, then he takes a deep breath.</p><p>"Galaxy skin disease." </p><p>The other stares at him with confusion and the doctor looks at him with disbelief.</p><p>"It's a disease where every time the person you are in love with touches you, your skin cracks and pours out something that looks like a galaxy." </p><p>Suna's eyes widen, looking down at his forearm and remembering when Osamu clutched it. He bites his lip, the doctor's right, maybe he doesn't want to hear this. </p><p>"The only way to cure it is if that person returns your feelings." The doctor adds and the other can feel a lump in his throat. </p><p>"If they don't then, you'll turn into that-" He points to Suna's arm.</p><p>"-and disappear." </p><p> </p><p>He's running. After those words, he paid and bid goodbye. Tears well up in the corner of his eyes as he shuts his door behind him. He falls to the ground, wiping away the liquid falling from his eyes. </p><p>This isn't real, right? It isn't. This is something straight out of fucking fiction. It can't be- Please don't be- Suna desperately tries to convince himself that yes, this is a dream. But staring at his hand, he lets the tears fall more. </p><p>It's not that he's afraid of death.</p><p>He's afraid that he'll die knowing Osamu doesn't feel the same as he does. </p><p>-</p><p>The next day, he wakes up at 5 am, deciding to open early as an apology for closing yesterday. He yawns, rubbing his swollen eyes as he walks in autumn weather to the ice rink. A few meters to it he stops, looking at the figure waiting in front of it. </p><p>It's the person he wants to see the least.</p><p>Osamu stands outside of the building, scrolling on his phone and casually looking around. When he catches sight of the brunette, his eyes light up. He runs towards Suna, waving at him but stops when he sees the other's tired form. "Rin, are ya alright? What happened?" </p><p>Suna forces out a smile and scratches the back of his head. "There was an emergency yesterday, sorry I didn't tell you. I'm just stressed, I think." </p><p>Osamu only smiles at him, "I'm glad you're okay." He reaches out to grab the brunette but he flinches, avoiding all contact with the smaller. Suna realizes and looks down. "Sorry, just a little on edge from yesterday."</p><p>"Oh, it's fine. If yer not okay, d'ya wanna just wanna hang out?" Osamu beams at him with eyes full of warmth. Suna smiles widely at him, and they walk together to who knows where in chilly weather. </p><p>It's funny, Suna thinks. Just last night when he was crying, he thought that if he just removed all that he felt for the other, everything would be alright.</p><p>But looking at him now, he doesn't think he'll ever stop loving Osamu.</p><p>-</p><p>How long can he take it? </p><p>How long does his heart have to break all over again? He 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 hopes that once Osamu touches him, it wouldn't happen anymore. But it's not only his skin that cracks, it's his heart too because after all this time it's still only him who feels this way. </p><p>But he'll never stop hoping. </p><p>Even after fall passes, he's still hoping. Even when the snow starts to fall from the clouds, he won't give up. </p><p>Is it a stupid thing to do? Maybe. </p><p>Making contact with Osamu is unavoidable, especially when they still skate together. So he does his best to cover all his cracks with bandages and clothing. He knows he looks smaller, weaker, and he is. Strength drains from his body whenever he feels the galaxy gushing out of him. </p><p>He puts a bandage on his shoulder, looking at how many he has in his bathroom mirror. There's a voice that calls out to him. Right, Osamu came over to spend time with him. He needs to be quick. </p><p>After, Suna slouches on the couch beside Osamu, who's scrolling mindlessly through his phone. "Sup." He says.</p><p>They talk about anything under the sun, with Osamu showing him memes, or weird videos. Suna wants this, wants it to always be like this. With no pain, no sickness, just him and Osamu being happy.</p><p>"Oh, d'ya know 'Galaxy Skin Disease?" Osamu asks suddenly and it's as if the brunette's world ends. Did find out? He can't. He shouldn't. The worst thing he could possibly do is force Osamu to feel the same for the sake of his life. </p><p>"Uh, yeah." He answers abruptly. The other hums, and continues talking. "That's harsh, I read an article that a lotta people have it now. But if I had a way to go it'd be that way. It's sad but it's kinda beautiful, right?" </p><p>Suna smiles sadly at him. </p><p>"It is." </p><p>-</p><p>Suna wears baggier clothing today, in contrast to all the previous months where he'd be wearing thin clothing. They're going skating, and he needs to hide it all he can. </p><p>He puts on the skates, waiting for Osamu to do the same. The latter has immensely improved throughout the year. For the first time, Suna has to skate with the smaller. It's not like he doesn't want to, it's because he knows he'll have to touch Osamu. </p><p>They go into the rink, and the grey-haired male patiently waits for Suna to move. He rolls his eyes and smiles, starting to skate the choreography of one he knows since he was a child. </p><p>"Woah. Ya didn't tell me you 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥!" Osamu says in awe, earning a chuckle from Suna as he skates to the male. "You never asked." He replies.</p><p>The smaller laughs as well, carefully approaching Suna. He doesn't know why, he knows he should stop Osamu. It'd be more painful if he didn't, but the male is looking at him so happily. </p><p>His smile makes Suna hope even more.</p><p>Osamu wraps his hands around the taller's neck, who says a silent prayer to the universe.</p><p>Maybe tonight Osamu will finally love him too. </p><p>They skate along the ice, laughing and smiling like there's no tomorrow.</p><p>Suna wishes it was forever. </p><p>But it comes to an end, and they have to say goodbye for the night. The brunette waves goodbye with a happy heart. When the door closes, he sighs with a smile. But it soon fades into a face of a surprise when he feels the skin of his neck crack. </p><p>He feels for his nape and looks at his hand filled with purple. He closes his eyes and looks up at the light blinding him to stop the tears from falling. Just how dumb is he? </p><p>How dumb is he to wish for things to change? </p><p>-</p><p>It's just a regular night, that's what it always is. But something tells Suna this is different, perhaps it's the way almost all his body is covered with bandages and how he went back to wearing thin clothing. It's cold, but he doesn't care because he always feels warm when Osamu bursts through the door. </p><p>And apart from that, he invites Osamu to the other skating rink outside. The other raises an eyebrow, but Suna can only chuckle and lead him to the backdoor. </p><p>The moon shines over them and a snowflake lands on Osamu's nose. The brunette laughs, putting on the skates with slightly trembling shoulders. </p><p>"Jeez, Rin. Would ya wear a jacket?" Osamu says, and even if the other protests he takes off one of his coats and puts it over the taller's shoulders. </p><p>Osamu extends a hand, and Suna stares at it for a moment before taking it with his own gloved hand, uncaring whether he feels his skin crack. </p><p>This is all he ever wants. </p><p>They skate, holding hands while talking about anything and everything. Suna holds Osamu's hand tighter as he stares at the male's features. His ears are red from the cold. </p><p>Suna rushes to take off his earmuffs and quickly places them on Osamu's own. The smaller looks at him, annoyed. "Take it." The brunette says sternly causing the other to comply. </p><p>"These are comfy. I can barely hear anything." He says, pressing the fluffy material to his ears. Osamu turns his back to Suna, humming a random tune. </p><p>"I love you."</p><p>Suna mumbles with a smile. </p><p>"What was that?" The other faces back to him and Suna can only shake his head. </p><p>"Let's go back?" He answers, taking Osamu's hand again and walking back inside. </p><p>He stares up at the sky again, it's getting late. </p><p> </p><p>He shuts the door behind him once Osamu leaves and stumbles to the ground. Tears escape his eyes, and he can feel the cracking creep up his neck. </p><p>Suna feels like a mess. As if his insides are getting tangled. Almost like he's slowly melting. </p><p>He hugs the soft material of Osamu's jacket. It reminds him of the male, his warmth, his comfort, and his smile. Everything about him, makes Suna feel like he belongs.</p><p>He may be the one turning into a puddle of space, but Osamu will always be his universe. </p><p>-</p><p>He walks along the empty streets with a smile, it's another great day with his best friend. Reaching for his back pocket, Osamu realizes he forgot his phone. </p><p>He walks back with no hurry, at least he can see the other again. </p><p>He opens the door with a grin.</p><p>"Oh, Rintarou-"</p><p>He accidentally steps on a pile of bandages and clothes. He tilts his head in confusion and decides to look around. The backrooms, storage rooms, outside. All the lights are on and everything is open, yet Suna is nowhere to be found. </p><p>"Huh." He huffs, picking up his jacket from the pile of clothes and seeing stardust fall from them. What? What is happening? </p><p>He reaches into the pockets of his jacket and there he finds his phone, but what catches his attention is a small piece of paper. </p><p>He slowly opens it, freezing when he sees what's inside.</p><p>"𝘓𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶." </p><p>Something inside him shatters, mouth falling open when the realization hits him. He does as it asks, grabbing the coat with him and going outside with shaking shoulders.</p><p>The dark sky greets him, and he looks up at it with tired eyes. </p><p>His vision falls to one star that twinkles a beautiful purple. </p><p>A single tear trails down to his cheek.</p><p>At exactly 12:41 am on December 14th, Osamu learned to love the night sky.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>how was it? i appreciate any constructive critiscism and feedback. also yes i made the disease. thank you so much for reading ! ily and have a great day !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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